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Welcome to India, President Obama
Dear Obama ,
Welcome to India :
Here , with a population of a over 1.5 billion , you're a nobody. Unless you're Sachin Tendulkar or Amitabh Bachchan. Obama? Who Obama? We don't know you. Sorry sir , we're illiterate. 35% of us are. My teacher tells me 35% is the passing grade. What she didn't tell me is that nearly 35 people pee on a road in a hour. Well , the credibility of the fact could be seriously doubted, not because I'm posting it , but because it's Indian statistics. We can always go wrong. And we can get away with it. Surely sir , you can't pocket out crores from an Olympic committee without getting caught can you sir? We can. And still they think you're a bigger genius. What Superman? We have Rajnikanth. That man is more popular than our very own president. Half of us don't even know who our president is. For those in village, the village head is the president. 70% of our country is rural. And we're still more bothered about making new buildings. Thousands commit suicide. Students and farmers alike. Surely in your country , farmers and students aren't the same. We're busy people. We'll see someone robbing a guy , we'll quietly walk away. We don't even know our neighbor's name. We only believe in cricket sir. My classmate's father won't eat on a cricket match. He's probably dying these days, there's a match daily. My poor girlfriend , she hates cricket you know? I broke up with her.
We bathe in River Ganga because it's holy. Do you know the secret of this holiness? why , of course it's our never ending urine and factory waste. Wonder how many consider drinking it holy. Our national bird is the peacock , that is why you don't get to see it. Our national tree is the banyan , soon you won't get to see that too. Our national animal is the tiger, hehe. Sir , we are such magnanimous people , we buy a cricket match ticket for 5000 bucks but we can't pay 600 rs for our child's education. The school i go to asks for RS 6000 for 'e-learning'. They don't even know how to use the internet. 90% of us don't have internet.
Our roads are amazing. For every person , we have ten potholes. TEN. see? And people say our government isn't fair. For everything we have a quota. Defense quota , SC/ST quota , women's quota soon we'll have gay quota. We can't kiss in public. But we can piss in public.
Policemen don't know what's the law. They understand the language of the green colored Gandhiji photo stucked notes. Pocket one in , get anything out. We call people from your country , and we ask 10 times the money. You give it to us happily because that is 10 times less of what you were expecting. In return , we show you the finest of the things - garbage , shit and a lot of poverty.
You really should understand , we are truly a great country :)
sincerely;
Team IkilledNewton
(Bulls , Pandas & Zebras )